Ambitious Nose Hair
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
I am apparently the owner and fertile ground for a very ambitious nose hair.

I'm not one of those old guys with a couple furry pom-poms firmly inserted in the nostrils; I only have one hair follicle with the amibition to leave the comfort of the nose.

The problem is that when alone, a nose hair can go unnoticed. It's a sneaky little ninja hair. I don't start noticing it until it starts curling out and touching other parts of my face. I start fidgeting with my nose a lot, and receive a lot of "stop picking your nose" comments from the wife. That's when I know it's time to pull out the scissors. (For the hair, of course.)

When I realize I need to trim my nose hair, I'm not around scissors or a mirror. It's the same way with my nails. Sure, I realize they're a little too long (ninja hair or fingernails), but I just forget at the right time.

Now, the other problem with a ninja nose hair is that it doesn't really necessitate a fancy nose hair trimmer. I just use the scissors.

Now imagine, if you haven't done this yourself, trying to stick a very sharp piece of metal inside your nose and guiding it towards the root of a ninja hair. Now try doing it while staring in the mirror, so everything you do is backwards. It's like that old Operation game where you try to perform surgery on the clown, but this time instead of hearing an annoying 'buzz' when you mess up, you bleed.

I really am a clean guy. Hopefully the personal hygiene story doesn't make that hard to believe.


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