Moo Please

If I am ever asked what my favorite animal is, I answer "cow" with no hesitation. I imagine a scenario in which someone comes to me and says, "Random species of animal will be going extinct very soon. We have a way of saving one of them. Is there any species you would like to preserve?"

"Cow."

I realize that when people ask this, they're generally not curious to know which animal tastes best. Most people would answer "dog" or "horse" or something else that provides companionship or high-quality glue. I think more with my stomach: beef, milk, cheese. You see, I am a lover of these food items. My wife has even called me "the cheesman" on occasion. In my world, Tex-Mex, cheeseburgers, and a great steak trump companionship. Besides, what are you going to drink with chocolate chip cookies or Oreos if the cows dissappear?

I like chicken well enough, but prefer the red meat. Also, I am not aware of any delicious liquids that can be squeezed out of a chicken. "What about goat milk or deer meat?" I hear you ask. Yes, I acknowledge that other animals can lactate or be eaten. They're not familiar to me and honestly, have never tasted quite right. Every time I try something different, cow is the baseline comparison. I have never uttered the words, "You know, this is better than beef."

What about cows for companionship? Sure, they smell, weigh half a ton, and don't fetch, but they will mow your lawn. Plus, they can be tipped or used as transportation in a bind.

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm hungry.