McBumpy
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
I'm a relatively picky eater. Texture and appearance are almost as important as taste to me. However, when it comes to cowish foods, I am easier to please.

Case in point: I will eat almost any microwaved burger out there. In fact, I don't recall a time when I have purchased a nukeable solo-burger and been dissatisfied enough to discard it before it has been devoured. I don't really have to explain this to anyone who has read Moo Please. I give the Chick-Fil-A cows nightmares.

Having said that, I have never tried a McRib. The idea scares me. They're fashioning a meat product into the form of an animal's ribcage and hoping it looks tasty. Does it really need to have artificially sculpted "bones" that are also made of meat? As far as I know, when people crave ribs, they're not hungering for the bumps in-between the slats of meat.

Perhaps I should order a McRib without the sandwich-qualifying parts, just the meat, and proceed to eat it like a real rack of ribs. I could separate the individual "ribs" and leave the meat-bones behind. Granted, my fellow McDonald's occupants will likely file me under crazy rather than witty.

If anyone out there is a die-hard McRib fan and dares challenge me to try one, I'll certainly give it a thought.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Bridgette said...

Hey Clint, it's Bridgette Bickle. You are crazy. :)
Tell Melissa I said hi!

11/10/2005 11:07 AM  
Anonymous Bridgette said...

Oh, yeah. McRibs disgust me too.

11/10/2005 11:09 AM  
Blogger Clint said...

I'll tell Melissa you dropped in. Good to hear from you, stranger.

Anyone else see a subliminal message in my current word verification: "kymss"

11/10/2005 5:49 PM  
Blogger the mom said...

message? i think you have voices in your head, son.

11/11/2005 9:00 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

I think everything at McDonald's is made of the same "stuff" that they just sculpt into the shape of what you order. Burgers, McRibs, fries, milkshakes, packaging, employees etc...

11/12/2005 3:14 PM  
Blogger Clint said...

Good point, Phil. That's certainly the case for the "chicken" McNuggets. Never sampled an employee.

11/12/2005 3:44 PM  
Blogger the mom said...

you mean mcnuggets aren't really a part of the chicken?

11/12/2005 3:57 PM  
Blogger enderC said...

I don't know what bothers me more: the very idea of the McRib, or the idea that the corporation that has produced it, McDonalds, has not only decided to retire it but then also put up a webpage about said retirement. And when I say "webpage about said retirement" what I really mean is "thinly-veiled marketing gimmick to see how many people actually like this tripe."

So, because I am affronted not only appetitically* but also corpormorally**, I refuse to even try the McRib now. I'm afraid that I would be accused of being ironic, and I can't deal with the inherent irony in that accusation.

* This is not a real word.
** n. corp●or●mor●a●lly: the sense of moral direction a corporation may choose to...aww who am I kidding.

11/14/2005 12:51 AM  
Blogger Clint said...

Oh yeah. Anyone who actually thinks McDonalds is spending money celebrating a soon-to-be retired menu item is still waiting for the Arch Deluxe farewell parade.

Don't understand all the big words in your post, so I'm not exactly sure I know what you said. Guess I'm not as vocabuliterate.

11/14/2005 1:00 AM  

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